Blessings my dears for we have lived to ring in yet another new year! As each day is truly a gift and never a given, I welcome 2019 with awareness and a deep reverence for the privilege.
For myself, 2018 came as a welcome relief to the ass kicking 2017 had delivered, but, as always, it did not come without lessons and challenges. Last January, having set my 2018 compass to “surrender” with intention to focus on clarity, peace, and joy, reminds me to be very mindful what I wish for this year. While 2018 was much gentler in delivery, it was still jam packed with plenty of “WTF?” moments to taunt and chest butt me into submission. Now here I am on the other side; whilst the ego is somewhat bruised, I am older, somewhat bolder and grateful for the opportunity to continue to grow.
There may have been lots going on in other realms, but ’18 was not a year of action or movement in my physical world. Stillness has purpose and is required to be able to connect the inner dots. I have yet to manifest my dream house, job, or life partner but trust that all is as it should be – for now. This is where the piece about clarity is important. You can’t call something in if you have no clue what it looks or feels like. I am beginning to get a better sense of what the future might bring and it is exciting and somewhat magical.
Turning 60 last August called my soul to a deep reckoning of spiritual accounts and acceptance of deeper truths that revolve around purpose and mortality. Too many of us, for too long, skirt dreams along the shoreline of our youth forgetting there is wisdom to be mined in the ancient hills. We live in a world where senior citizens fade away along with their valuable knowledge and stories. I am beginning to experience invisibility; I don’t much like it but there is a degree of peace in acceptance. The good news is that I am approaching an age where I can wear peacock feathers and funny hats and not give a damn; the world needs more unicorns. Everything is changing at such a rapid rate and our focus is always on the next new. Those of us who sit in the twilight, can see through eyes of hindsight. We just keep reinventing the wheel. Everything old eventually becomes new again – even me.
I am still working on joy. With 4 grandsons 5 and under, I have plenty of opportunity for joyous moments. There are times when I drop by for a visit and am greeted with bear hugs and exuberant shouts of “GRANDMA’S HERE!!”. Pure rock star status; bless their hearts. Young children own their raw emotions and have yet to temper them to fit in the “convenient” world. They can go from a spontaneous eruption of anger to an unbridled ascent into joy that makes you want to float up to the ceiling in their bubble. Joy is a root of our natural state but somewhere in our formative years we become separated from this inner wellspring. Too often, joy becomes a commodity to be bought, traded or shamed. The process of awakening is a process of stripping away the stories and the conditioning that convince us that we are not worthy of happiness. I am convinced that one of the keys to unlock the joy-spring resides in remembering the world with childhood innocence.
I am grateful for the abundance of gifts this life has afforded me and I am curiously optimistic for the year ahead. There are rumblings on the other side of the veil that have yet to reveal themselves fully but you can be assured that in true dhar fashion, when the time comes for action, I will be ready to leap. Until then, there is comfort in the stillness… Wishing you all a very Joyous, Prosperous, and Loving New Year!
Beannacht
John O’Donohue
On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.
And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The grey window
And the ghost of loss
Gets in to you,
May a flock of colours,
Indigo, red, green,
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
In the currach of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be
yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.
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